Weight Loss Journey

Weight loss Journey
Part 1

Once again I found myself never wanting to look at myself in the mirror, go shopping, put on makeup, do my hair or even leave the house. It was in Sept of this year as I looked through pictures of a short weekend trip with friends did I realize that I had to change something. Just looking at pictures, not only was I at my heaviest but I truly looked unhappy being me and that for one was not ME!

I can’t remember a day where I did not battle my weight. I’ve been a yoyo dieter for years. Through HS I was usually between a 14 and 18 and after HS the weight continued to creep up until what I thought was my heaviest in 1997 where I started Jenny Craig and dropped about 60lbs and lost an additional 15 soon after just working on religiously. What I remember most about those few years that I kept that weight off was how good I felt and how I stopped hiding behind the fact that I was a big girl or the “Fat girl” of the group. I felt beautiful, sexy and confident. Now why I put on the weight again is still a mystery on some level. I know how to watch my calories and what needs to be done to keep it off or take it off. So why is it that I sabotage myself and put on the weight again. Of course like all yoyo dieters, not only did I put on the 75lbs I lost, I probably added an additional 10-15lbs on top of that putting me at my heaviest in Sept/October of this year.

I can honestly say that I’m an emotional eater, stress eater and a lot of times I eat out of pure boredom. You name it, I could put it down. I didn’t know and still struggle with stopping the madness. But I find that right now I’m more conscious of what I’m doing. At least I try to be. I know that if I’m craving something, its better to have a nibble of something I’m craving then completely deprive myself of something because that is when I will turn around and eat the entire package. But that wasn’t my sole problem. I’m horrible at eating breakfast in the morning, I hate making lunch therefore I would buy out even though I started staying clear of Mcd’s, Jack or taco bell, I reasoned that having a subway sandwich almost every day was healthy. Right? Ok so my reasoning wasn’t always smart but my head and my stomach don’t always work on the same wave length.

On top of my nasty eating habits I was having difficulty with my asthma, sleep apnea and finally having nothing but issues with my knees and feet. I swear there were days that I walked like I was 100. I’m only 40 and yet my body started to make feel double that. I knew when I couldn’t sit comfortably on the floor to play with my nephews and nieces or just struggled to walk even around the block that something had to give and I sure as hell didn’t want it to be my own heart.

Sadly all this isn’t what got me started on the path I am today. Dad had come back from San Diego looking like he was not doing well and asked about a weight loss program that a friend of ours had been doing had already lost about 50lbs. I thought sure no problem, never thought we would actually try and be successful in the last 2 ½ months.

On October 16th 2010 we (myself, my father and mother) started on the Herbalife plan. Did I think I could do it? I was skeptical but gave it 100% . 2 shakes per day and one main meal, I was afraid that this was a set up for me to fail in the worst possible way. What were my options? Surgery and I didn’t want to do it that way. The first few days were a struggle, I had to mentally prepare myself for not having anything to pick up and put in my mouth, outside of my shake that I was drinking or the fruit I would eat as a snack. Seriously it became a mental game that I had to play in order to make myself realize that I was eating and getting what I needed. I mean come on I am drinking a shake that reminds me of Fruity Pebbles…this can’t be hard. After the first few weeks the shakes, the hunger I felt became easier. I no longer felt all that hungry between meals and the shakes became a part of the routine and so much easier and less thinking on my part.

The first 2 weeks we did this with out an actual scale but having had been to the Dr. not long ago I knew about where my weight was and actually I thought I had put on a bit more weight prior to starting Herbalife. But after 2 weeks my approximate weight loss was 10lbs and it had me jumping for joy. Who knew!!! The last 8 ½ weeks have not been easy. There are things in our lives that change the course of our day and mess with our eating plans. The biggest holidays of the year were coming through and I had to figure out how to get through them with least amount of sabotage I could and I had to learn how to stop binge eating when I was in a mood. And the biggest obstacle…SODA!!! I had to learn to curb my need to drink Diet Coke all day long.

Its December 30th, the new year is just a 2 days away and I’ve joined a weight loss support group with some friends from all over the world (Thank you Duran Duran) and had John Taylor respond to my latest status on Face book about my recent weight loss and I was suddenly re-motivated to continue on this path.

Today I’m 28lbs lighter then I was in Sept 2010, I feel healthier, I feel good in my clothes and when I look in the mirror I’m beginning to feel good about me and who I am. This is what I’m suppose to feel like.

My Goals for 2011:
1. Lose an additional 22lbs by April or so
2. Regain my confidence and learn to love me
3. Start moving,
4. Stop hiding behind the “fat girl” syndrome and let people see me.
5. Get closer to final goal of about 150-175lbs weight loss.

I know with the support that I have found through family and friends that this is possible. Every single goal is within reach and I want it. So here I go moving into a new year and making the changes to make my life that much better, healthier and happier.

Happy New Years Everyone!

Adult 3L, Region #2 and YC. #1 Christmas Party.

We had our annual Christmas party on December 12th and like always we had a blast. We all know that it’s the youth that make this party fun, filled with laughter and nostalgia. It’s all about them and Santa and I’m so glad that over the years we’ve all begun to do our Christmas together as a whole versus separately as we had done in years past.

We had our annual Christmas party at the SDES Alvarado, our home away from home. In all the years I’ve been a part of this area SDES has really stood back and supported our youth and adults. They allow us the ability to have a place to rehearse, have parties and are always ready to have the kids dance. 20 plus years and presidents later they continue to help us and while I’m not the youth director or even a youth leader at this time for YC #1 I know I am grateful for all they do for Adult #3L, Region #2 and especial YC #1.

We started our Christmas party with the YC and adults creating cards and putting together donations. Our Youth has always created Christmas cards for Children’s Hospital but this year it was decided that the cards would be sent to the H&S company unit 73679 stationed in Afghanistan. In conjunction with Region #2’s activity of putting together a gift box to send over with small necessities and just things that the soldiers would want to make their day just a little bit brighter, easier. At the end of the day Region #2 shipped off 8 boxes of goodies to H&S Company filled socks, soups, coffee, books, movies, candy, gum, etc. If we could bring a smile to their faces and bring a piece of home for just one minute then it’s what we did. I’m so proud of the turn out the Region had and so proud of Brienne for putting it together and getting it out and shipped. Her friend who is in this battalion is as well as the rest of our soldiers are in my prayers and hope they come soon. The Youth Council also had a toy drive for Viola Blythe and collected a mired of toys and wrapping paper to give to the children who don’t have as much as they do. All in all I felt as though it has been year of paying it forward. I’m proud of each and every one of you for doing all you could to bring a smile, a piece of home and for just thinking about those that do not have all that we may have.

Of course you can’t have a Christmas party without food and there was a ton of food and deserts brought by all of us in the groups. From potato soup to pizza to taco salad to red velvet cup cakes, cookies and so on. We ate well and enjoyed a nice afternoon with friends and family.

While waiting for Santa to make his appearance the Region kept the kids entertained by playing a couple of games. There is nothing funnier than watching 42 kids running up and down the hall and trying to sit on a balloon (some with helium this year) to pop it!!! Classic fun! They also made a Santa’s beard on a fellow team member where they put shaving cream on one persons face in the shape of a beard and throw cotton balls at it. Pretty funny even if some of the bigger boys didn’t really want to get their faces dirty. :p

It wasn’t soon after that the bells began to ring and in came Santa. He must have been on herbalife like many of us because he seemed a tad thin this year. Must remember to send him a package or 12 of cookies. LOL 42 kids, 42 presents later, all kids have had their moment with Santa and some even held on for dear life to their parents for fear of the man in the long white beard. (I mean honestly who could blame them..he is a bit scary when you think about it. An adult man, asking kids to sit on his lap and hands them candy…lol)

Another Christmas party gone by, more fond memories, a lot of laughs and this means the closer we are to the kids beginning their programs for the 2011 convention.
Time flies when you’re having fun!!!

Thank you Adult #3L, Region #2 and Youth Council #1 for being such a wonderful area. I’m proud to be a part of you and look forward to many more years of our family and traditions

Merry Christmas to my Luso Family!!!

Annual Luso Christmas Party

Let me be start with OMG what a riot this weekend was. Starting with Friday night through Sunday. I can’t believe the havoc we all caused in Visalia.

Anthony and I started our road trip to Visalia Friday afternoon. It was a fairly quiet ride down with very little traffic and some really good conversation. But then Anthony and I always have pretty good conversations. It was sad that our usual road trip buddies were not with us and we did miss Anna and Nicole being in the car with us. We arrived at the Lampliter Inn around 4:30pm, got ourselves checked in and into our rooms. While we didn’t get to stay in adjoining rooms, Anthony was only a few doors down. The Lampliter Inn is exactly that, a small little Inn on the side of the freeway. Very quaint, well groomed, clean and a tad retro. The rooms were clean and comfy although just a tad hot. Couldn’t seem to get the heater to turn off and that seemed to be a consistent throughout the entire hotel. I still don’t understand why hotels don’t put groups like us all in one area so that we don’t have noise issues at night. I don’t think I ever will. Might have kept the complaints down to a low minimum had they done that.

We headed to the bar at the bar and grill next door and decided to have ourselves a drink while we decided on dinner….All I can say is that the bar closed at NINE pm…WTH..I found thought odd that a bar would close at 9 but who am I to say different. We headed out and met up with a bunch of ladies from SPRSI. I didn’t really know many of them but was glad to meet them that night. They were nice enough to invite us to join them for dinner and we headed out to Big Bubbas Bad BBQ. Nice place, great atmosphere and really did seem like a great place to take your family for birthdays, or just to have a good night. We managed to get Julianne and Hilary on the bull, sang, laughed and got to know each other. Again reminded that Fraternalism is important, that it was important to set aside differences and remember that we are all out for the same goal, to keep Luso going and enjoy our culture and our friendships. After dinner we headed back to celebrate Tish and Erica’s Anniversary and I learned to play Beer Pong which I was immediately fired by Anthony because I couldn’t make a shot..lol Good times people…good times.:-)

Sadly I spent the weekend nursing a cold and ended up heading up to bed early that night and spent most of Saturday morning trying to get a handle on the stuffy head, ears and nose. After the Education Foundation luncheon, Luso Federation meeting we all got ready for the Christmas party that was hosted by Visalia Convention Committee for Mr. Tony Sozinho, who is slated to be Luso President in 2012 in Fresno, CA. The hors d'oeuvres were delicious, the drinks as always great but most of all it was great to see old friends that we only see maybe once a year or at a visit.

The food was great, desert and a shotzinho of Porto followed by a Portuguese group from the HS dancing folklore then followed by dancing thank you to Frank Rosa’s Iphone. We laughed, we drank, we danced, we drank some more, we danced more and just had a great time all in all. When the party was over we moved to the hotel where I believe we were chased out of a total of 3 rooms by the Visalia Police Department. Don’t these hotels know that when Luso and SPRSI come together they need to lump us all in one building…so that we only disturb our own!!!! I am not all together sure the Lampliter or Visalia wants us back again! Good times and thank you to Visalia and the Convention Committee for the wonderful holiday party!

Sunday started off with a fraternal meeting and then we were off to Tulare for Council 29B’s Breakfast Brunch and Toy Drive. What a great idea and wonderful turn out. I had never been to Nielson's Restaurant but had already started hearing nothing but good things about it. The brunch was delicious especially their biscuits and gravy.omg..yum! It was a great way to sit with friends, get our bellies nice and full before our 4 hour trek home that afternoon.

Anthony, Anna, Nicole, Joe, Lenor, Marilia and Americo headed home around 1pm. WE may not all have been in the same car but managed to share in some laughs as we trekked down 99 heading back to the bay. Thank you Anthony for letting me bum a ride from you and Thank you everyone in Visalia and Tulare for an amazing weekend filled with laughs and some amazing memories. I’m very glad that I was able to attend this year’s Christmas Festivities.

I wish you all a very wonderful Holiday filled with love, family, friendships and fraternalism! Merry Christmas Everyone and Happy New Year.

I’ll see you all at our first official visit of the New Year on January 16th in Watsonville!

Harry Potter 7 Pt. 1 - Deathly Hallows

Its noon on the 19th of November and I’m walking around in a haze of lack of sleep. Who knew that I would have been standing in line lately to see the midnight viewings of any movie? Heck I don’t even really stand in line for concerts much less a movie. But over the last couple of years I’ve seen a few movies at 12:01 just to say that I did. Last night was no exception. I saw Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Pt. 1 at 12:01 at the Hayward Cinemas with my friend Galyn, her partner Doris, Laura and Cassidy.

We started our evening out at Buffalo Bills across the street, which I’m glad we did as I have never been there before (and it’s been there for as long as I could remember) and we dinner and drinks. The Pear Cider and the Portabella Sandwich was awesome as was the company. We headed over to the cinema around 8ish and began the agonizing wait in line. I’m really too old for this stuff.lol There were people of all ages and I loved that some of them actually came dressed the part. We saw many scarves, wands, books, people dressed up in Azkaban shirts and so on. I thought Twi-Hards were intense…Potterheads are just as bad.

We finally got into the theater around 10pm and it was great to have the opportunity to get comfy. Problem with that is that too comfy makes you want to sleep. Lol So that’s what I did..I napped slightly while we waited for the previews to start and really honestly till the movie started and then I was wide awake.:-)

From the first scene to the very last scene the movie kept me interested, engrossed and waiting for the next new adventure. It was great to see so many of the characters from past movies and sad to say good bye to a few. Someone had mentioned that it seemed like a long camping trip for Potter and gang and while yeah I can see that I found the movie to follow the book pretty good with just a few extra things.
With some laughter, some intense moments, some tears I found the first installment of Deathly Hallows leaving me with wanting more. I think I yelled no at the last scene because as much as I hate to see this series end, I really wanted the movie to keep going.

I’m really glad that I got into the series before the last of the movies. It took me a while but after reading the entire series in 30 days I now know what the mystique about Harry Potter was all about and I loved it. Absolutely loved the book and love the movies. I’m looking forward to Harry Potter, Deathly Hallows Part 2 in July 2011.

If you haven’t read the series..DO IT. You won’t be disappointed.

Luso Weekend (Newark and San Jose)

Luso Weekend! (running a bit behind on this one! :-)

This weekend was truly what I would call a Luso filled weekend with quite a few Luso functions. My weekend started out at the Wine Tasting Event for the Councils of Newark, Adult 19B, Region #16 and YC #30. Once again I was escorted by my Mom and we met up with my cousin Michelle Da Silva, past 20-30’s President and currently Chair of Youth Directors, her son Logan and her father Henry. The hall was decorated in fall colors and people were already sampling the delicious wines and food. I am always impressed by this group because their Youth is always knee deep in helping, serving and getting things together for their functions. I also saw many others from different councils such as our President John Perdigao and his family, Marielia and Americo Pereira, Joe and Lenor Pio, MaryJo and Arnold Rodrigues, Mr. and Mrs. Rosa and so many more I could list. To see such support during these tough economic times is great. The food was great, YC #30 performed their 2010 program and the danced followed with Chico Avila. It was a great night had by all. Thank you Newark for putting on such a great fundraiser.

Saturday, the 6th was not only my little sister Carla’s birthday but it was also the Luso Sales Agent meeting. We spent the day working on ways to make our society stronger and really show people that we have products that can benefit not only adults but our children as well. We are currently offering 6% on Single Premium Annuities (min 10,000 deposit) for the first year and we also have a great Educational Savings Account that is great for your children and grand children. Current interest rate is 4% and can be used not only for College but for Private Schools until the child is 30!!! So act now and start saving for your child’s future.

Sunday, the 7th we headed out to our last visit of 2010, San Jose 47-B, Region #1 and YC #2 of San Jose. It wasn’t the prettiest day of the year, but the turn out at the visit was fabulous. Everyone battled the rain and gloom to surround themselves with their Luso Friends. I headed down alone this time and met up with Brienne and her boyfriend Randy and we found a quiet spot for us to sit back and enjoy the afternoon. We were later joined by Anna Bettencourt, Judy Allen Dias, Judy Teixeira, Americo and Marielia Pereira, Jason, Cynthia and Madison Weekly and of course Lenor Pio (Anthony’s mom). Of course also there was President John Perdigao and family, 20-30s President Anthony Pio, Youth President Matthew Teixeira and Queen Nicole Bettencourt.

I continue to be amazed at the amount of friendships that are created by the Luso visits. You truly don’t realize how many people you have met, how long you have known them and how much of a good time you have until you see each other again. Many of us only see each other at Convention, visits or some random festa that we just happened to be at. But as I continue my journey in Luso (god help me 28 years and counting) I realize that I have been doing this same thing, year after year, visit after visit and seeing some truly amazing people. We grow up, we watch each other get married, have children, watch their children grow up and follow in the footsteps of our parents, grandparents and so on. How amazing is it to look up at a head table where the 20-30’s President‘s Father was a 20-30’s President in the 90s, the Youth Presidents older Brother was just Youth President a few years ago, our MC’s were non other then Joseph Vieira and his youngest son Ethan and Josephs older son was sitting at the head table as a youth officer. To me this is what Luso is about; it’s about traditions, our culture and continuing what our fore fathers have done before us. I commend 47B for making sure their Youth and 20-30’s were very much a part of their special day.

To Region #1 of San Jose, Congratulations on reactivating! I look forward to seeing you all again throughout the year and can’t wait to see you accept your first Rim Award and maybe getting someone in the 20-30’s State Line. I think you all have an amazing opportunity to build your region and really continue to build the bridge between the Adults and the Youth. I see a lot of potential here and I can’t wait to see you all flourish! If there is ever anything you need please don’t hesitate to contact me. I love watching new councils be reborn and created.

Thank you Adult 47B, Region #1 and YC #2 for a wonderful afternoon, delicious food and wonderful memories. I enjoyed spending the afternoon with old friends and making new friends. I look forward to continuing to build all the friendships and to see you all throughout the year.

Next road trip…Visalia for the Luso Christmas Party…See you all there!

Los Banos Visit

21B Los Banos – Region #15 Gustine/Los Banos – YC#18 Gustine/Los Banos

We celebrated Halloween with Adult Council 21B Los Banos, Region #15 and YC #18 on Sunday October 31st at the St. Joseph Parish Hall in Los Banos. I was joined by my Dad Carlos, LALIS Director and Assistant to the President Brienne Peixoto this afternoon. The morning to be honest started off rough as I had injured my knee in the Halloween festivities the night before at the Portuguese hall dance and was having a really rough time just being mobile. But I managed to get ready and head out to this visit with a smile and ready for more memories.

We arrived at the St. Josephs Parish just as mass was letting out. As we got there we were greeted by Arnold and MaryJo Rodrigues who had just arrived as well and walked into the hall to see some very familiar faces. The decorations were absolutely adorable. Mrs. Machado did a wonderful job with the festive center pieces made out of Cotton branches and candy!!! It was a free for all with some of the best Halloween candy. Just as expected everyone was very warm and welcoming.



It’s always good to see our Presidents and their families. We continue to create more and more memories as we all travel through the state visiting all these councils. I see you all and it brings a smile to my face and the laughter begins almost immediately. I’m having such an amazing time traveling with you guys.



My hats off to the Council of Los Banos council for a delicious lunch and Mr. Machado’s beans were as expected delicious. We had kept hearing how we all had to try them and they were correct, they were delicious! Congrats to YC#18 of Gustine for their 3rd place Trophy at the convention this year. You guys did an amazing job and thank you for performing for us again at the visit. It’s always wonderful to see so many youth participate in the Visit and throughout the year.





Thank you again to Los Banos for their fabulous luncheon, good times and wonderful memories. I look forward to seeing you over the next few years as I continue to my journey.

See you all at the Wine Tasting for Newark Council 19B and the San Jose Visit!

Brotherhood of St. Anthony’s, October 23rd, 2010

I was fortunate enough to have been asked to represent John Perdigao, Luso State President this last weekend at the Brotherhood of St. Anthony’s Annual Convention. I was to present Grand President MaryJean Perry with a token of Friendship and I think I got more out of it then I thought I would. Originally I was unsure as sadly I still do not know a lot of people outside of Luso in other societies but truth be told I’m glad I went. I know that in the next 5 years, I will be running into many of these people and I’m truly looking forward to meeting and getting to know them.

I was originally going to go with my Dad, he knows everyone and had been at this convention in the past during his time in line and as state president but due to scheduling conflict Mom served as my date that night and I’m glad she did. We had a great time even though we were unaware of it being a Luau. I would have loved to throw on a summer dress (even though it was cold and rainy) with a pair of sandals and a lei. We were greeted immediately by someone who remembered my Mom from my Dad’s term in 1998 and that took some of the nervousness away from us and we began to relax. I found too that Tish Cardoza was there as well representing SPRSI with her Grandmother and we joined them at their table.

Nervousness aside mom and I had a great time experiencing a different convention from Luso. Its always interesting to see how other Fraternal Organizations honor their presidents and their members. There was such a closeness about them all and they all seemed to be there to Honor Mary Jean and her husband and to have a good time and make a bunch of memories.

I was reminded quite frankly by Tish when I didn’t want to get up and dance to the chicken dance (in honor of the Giants winning the pennant..YAY) with everyone that my theme for my Committee and my year is “Celebrating Fraternalism and Our Traditions” and I realized she was right. I was there to celebrate another fraternal organization and their traditions and while at first I may not have wanted to dance I realized that this is why I’m here. I’m here to celebrate with them and make new memories. So I did, I danced, I participated in their Grand March and met some new people I hope to see again in the next 5 years. Thanks Tish for that reminder.

Thank you John for giving me the opportunity to represent you at the St. Anthony Convention and hope I did you proud. Thank you to MaryJean Perry and Convention Committee for the lovely gifts, wonderful dinner and for the extremely warm welcome my Mother and I received. We had a great time and thank you so much for the memories.

Maholo!

Modesto 49B-55C, Region #6, YC #24 Visit

Sunday, October 3rd was the Visit for 49B-55C of Modesto, Region #6 and YC #24. It had been about 12 years since I had been to their visit and I forget how active they really are. Like it was back then they put on a visit that was amazing. I have to say this that I’m extremely happy to have started to rebuild some friendships from this area that were lost. It’s made a huge difference in the way I look at a lot of things. I’m really glad I was able to attend and really enjoyed it.

I was fortunate enough to have traveled with my cousin Brienne Peixoto who is now getting her feet wet on the 20-30’s/Adult side of Luso and is currently holding the position of Assistant to the President and in hopes of moving into the 20-30’s line soon. Which I’m very excited to see her so active again after the Youth. I thought that it would be a great idea to get her going to as many visits as she can so that she can get a feel for all of it and to meet new people from other regions and such. It’s always fun watching someone get excited about the possibilities of getting involved on a state level. Yes there are and will always be politics the deeper you get into any organization but majority of the time the memories and experiences are something that can’t be replaced. So I hope she finds her spot in Luso and really takes time to enjoy it.

Back to the visit; we arrived a little bit early but were welcomed with open arms and to a beautifully decorated hall. The hall looked ready for fall even though it was hot and muggy outside. Once inside you knew that Fall was upon us with the beautiful fall colors and centerpieces that decorated the tables. I must say that they had a table of appetizers that were so good. The luncheon and cake were also delicious as well which is not surprising. It was great to see friends like Joe and Lina Vieira, John and Adelaide Dias, Mr. & Mrs. Pascoa that come from the bay to enjoy an afternoon in the valley.

It’s always a pleasure to see friends; I hung out with Anthony’s Mom and Grandmother, Judy Teixeira, Anna Bettencourt and Judy Allen Dias. As usual we laughed till we cried, we talked and enjoyed our afternoon while we listened to our friends. We watched YC # 24 perform their performance from the convention this year that earned them the 3rd place trophy in the Dance Category and they always put on a great show! The little ones like always are always so cute.






This council; as our 20-30’s President Anthony mentioned, really has embraced the building of bridges amongst the councils. Having a 20-30’s member as well State Officer as their Adult Council President really does help build the gap between the 20-30’s and the Adults. Continue the good work and thank you for being a roll model to our society. Kudos to Brian Martins, Field Agent for bringing in 46 new members from October of 2009 - October 2010. My hats off to you and all the hard work you do for the society. Congratulations to all 3 councils for recieving the Rim Award, 5 Star and the Manual Reis this year a the convention. I think that these three awards are probably the most important as it really shows the amounts of work and loyalty you all have to the Society. I also want to Congratulate Monica Xavier for joining the 20-30's State Board as Director of Activities. You have some big shoes to follow in your Region but I know your up for the task!

Santa Maria/Arroyo Grande Visits

Luso Adventures…

So this weekend was the first official weekend of the Luso visits for 2010-2011 and I’m so glad I decided to tag along with Anthony. Traveling with Anthony, Anna and Nicole proved to be nothing but laughs, teasing and some story’s that may never come to the light of day! What happens in Pismo stays in Pismo. HAHA! Good Times.

We stayed in Pismo or Five Cities at the Motel 6. What cracked me up is that we were worried about WIFI.. Really here we are in a quaint town by the beach and we are worried about having WIFI in our rooms. After changing rooms and settling in, we headed out to dinner at Pier side Restaurant with the Perdigao Family. Good fish, laughs and the building of friendships. That’s what this trip has turned into.

Once back at the hotel I thought we were going to get busted by security with the laughter, the sounds and the silliness that we created. I had no idea that this craziness would have ensued but oh we did it..and god help the neighbors we had at the hotel. They must have heard some interesting stuff because when I think back on everything I can’t help but laugh my ass off.

Saturday morning started off quietly, well somewhat quiet but then I’ve learned that our group was not quiet. We had a quick breakfast at the Denny’s up the street and then I was off to hang out with my oldest and dearest friend Mark! I couldn’t wait. I think I actually jumped out my chair and out the door before anyone really had a chance to know what was going on. LOL Sorry guys I love you but can’t miss out on time with Mark. Heck it had been 8 years since I had seen him and I was having Mark Martins withdrawals. I spent the afternoon reminiscing, catching up and having a fabulous time at the Marisol bar at The Cliffs. It was a gorgeous day in Pismo and we sat outside and had the most amazing view of the ocean. Mike and Amy joined us a little bit later and the rest of the afternoon was spent with laughter, catching up and just a great time. I miss these guys so much. They have been a part of my life for 28 years and if we go another 8 years of not seeing each other I may have to hunt them down. After too much sun and too many Morgans we said good bye to Mike and Amy and then headed back to the hotel and I said my good byes to Mark. Always hard to say good bye to Mark. I better not go another 8 years without seeing him or anyone.



Once I was dropped off, we got ready to hit the Santa Maria Visit. As always we had a great dinner, great hosts and a fabulous time. Dancing, food, drinking and laughs. And you know you can’t go to Santa Maria without a good Santa Maria Chamarrita, Macarena and we learned the dance to Cotton Eyed Joe! Good times. Thank you to the Ribeiro Family, Council 31B, Region #4 and YC #3 for making this night another night to remember. After the visit we headed back to the hotel to relax and continue our craziness. I swear I have seen, heard some things that can never be repeated or shouldn’t be repeated.





The next morning we took our time getting ready for our next visit to Arroyo Grande. Our first Luso/Sprsi combined Visit. Let me just say that while it was small, it was really fun and very very good. Everyone was so sweet and hospitable and the food was delicious along with the cake. YUM. WE had some serious tears and snorting from all the laughter and I can see that this next year is going to be quite a ride. Thank you to Esther Iglesias and Elsie Chechetti (sorry spelling is wrong) for putting on the an amazing visit.


We headed home soon after and I was quite sad to leave the central coast. I love being down there so much that whenever I have leave it, it’s almost like leaving home. I have some of the most amazing friends down there and no matter how long it’s been since we’ve talked, since we’ve seen each other, the minute we are together it’s like we have never been apart. I can honestly say that I miss them terribly when I am not there and hope that we make more of an effort to stay in touch and see each other.

To Anthony, Anna, Nicole, Judy and Matthew and The Perdigao family…I had a blast. I haven’t laughed that much in a long time and you all made this trip so much more worth it. I am really looking forward to traveling with you all as much as I can this year as you continue your Luso Adventures. I know we have a lot more laughs, a lot more paidocas to give and more crazy pictures to take!

Thank you again for the memories, the laughs and for the friendships. You’re all so special and I’m so blessed to have you all in my life.

I still miss you....

I’ve changed the presets in my truck

So those old songs don’t sneak up

They still find me and remind me

Yeah, you come back that easy

Try restaurants I’ve never been to

Order new things off the menu

That I never tried cause you didn’t like

Two drinks in you were by my side

I’ve talked to friends

I’ve talked to myself

I’ve talked to God

I prayed liked hell but I still miss you

I tried sober I tried drinking

I’ve been strong and I’ve been weak

And I still miss you

I’ve done everything move on like I’m supposed to

I’d give anything for one more minute with you

I still miss you

I still miss you baby

I never knew til you were gone

How many pages you were on

It never ends I keep turning

And line after line and you are there again

I don’t know how to let you go

You are so deep down in my soul

I feel helpless so hopeless

Its a door that never closes

No, I don’t know how to do this

I’ve talked to friends

I’ve talked to myself

I’ve talked to God

I prayed liked hell but I still miss you

I tried sober I tried drinking

I’ve been strong and I’ve been weak

And I still miss you

I’ve done everything

Move on like I’m supposed to

I’d give anything for one more minute with you

I still miss you…, yeah…

I’ve talked to friends

I’ve talked to myself

I’ve talked to God

I prayed liked hell but I still miss you…

I tried sober I tried drinking

I’ve been strong and I’ve been weak

And I still miss you

I’ve done everything

Move on like I’m supposed to

I’d give anything for one more minute with you

I still miss you…

I still miss you…

I still miss you……yeah…, yeah…

One thing I learned this weekend is that life is short. Really short and it doesn’t matter how old you are, how healthy you are or not healthy. When its your time its your time. Over the last 6 months I have known or have lost people in my life from natural causes or illness. I have found out that some people I have known all my life are having the battle of their life with cancer or other diseases that are killing them daily. It didn’t matter that they were young, old, bad karma or whatever. It makes me realize that no matter what is going in my world that there is someone out there who is in a worse position then me, unhealthier then me or grieving someone near and dear to their heart.

This weekend a very dear friend of mine is battling diabetes and acute pancreatis and is on a ventilator to help her breath and try and get her vitals under control. She is 24 years and vegetarian. She’s got a heart of gold, will give you the world if she can and yet here she is battling to stay alive while her loved ones pray that she will open her beautiful eyes and give us her big beautiful smile again.

Is life tough right now? Definitely, the economy is barely survivable. Can I change my life to make it a positive one? Of course I can and will do my best to live life completely and fully. Life is short, live it, love it and be grateful for all that we have. We only have one life to live and if we don’t live it, its taken sooner then we think.

Take a moment, tell those you care about that you love them, tell those your angry at that you forgive them and most importantly forgive yourself for all that you think you’ve done wrong. Love yourself so that you have the ability to love others.

Turning 40.....

That’s it! I’m 40! Who knew it would come that quick. LOL I swear it was only yesterday I was celebrating my 21st birthday at my cousins house with friends and family and now I’m suddenly 40 years old. WTF!!! I don’t feel 40. Ok well sometimes I feel old but for the most part I feel pretty good. I will say that once I turned 21, time flew by. People use to tell me that once you hit 21 time flies. The years go by quickly and before you know it your in your 40s. Well they were right.

Its been fun watching friends of mine as well as myself move into the 40 club. They say 40 is the new 30. We’ll see how that goes.

I spent a quiet night at home on my actual birthday with my family. Dinner, cake and just giggles with the kids. I was completely overwhelmed by the birthday wishes on facebook. Amazing how many people pay attention to the fact that your birthday is listed on your profile. It truly made me feel special if only for one day and I appreciated every best wishes that I received that day. It made what started off a bad day into a really nice day.

I finished my bday celebrations on Saturday night at a local club here called the Saddlerack. A country club that has some of the most eclectic crowd and music I have ever seen. You walk in, you feel comfortable, you dance, sing, drink and just all in all have a good time listening to the live music and the dj.
I realized that night that I’m surrounded by people who love, support me and really and truly want nothing but the best for me. They made me night special, made me laugh and made me feel like I was the only special one in the club. For that I’m forever grateful. Its always nice to feel like your wanted or the center of someone's life even if only for just a few minutes!

In the end I had a great birthday and I’m looking forward to what jumping into a new decade will bring me. I know its easy to feel like I have nothing to show for my first 40 years but then I remember where I’ve been and where I want to go and I realize that I’m okay. I’m blessed with an amazing and loving family and some of the best friends a girl can have.

Thank you for making my celebration so memorable!

Religulous

While in school we have had to write reading journals about readings, movies and topics that we discuss. This one really had me thinking and I thought I would post it. I am on some level catholic even though non practicing. I'm not against or for religion as a whole..just have a lot of questions.

written 04/26/10 for English

Watching Religulous made me realize how many questions about religion I do have. I mean why we believe in something that has never truly been proven. No one can actually answer if there was an Adam and Eve who created humanity. Why do we follow the preaching’s of something that was written by man regarding an entity that creates miracles, life and judges upon on our last day on earth? This person who sends us to a better place after death yet, causes war, catastrophes’ and fatal illnesses amongst people of all ages?

As a child I was raised catholic, went to church and went through the religious rites that my parents believed in. I followed the rules set forth by the church and didn’t ask any questions. As I got older though I found that I had issues with some of the rules and the idea that I had to go to a church and put my faith into one sole person who lived a life of celibacy and completely different then what they preached. I was told to confess my sins in order to receive the body of Christ. To confess to a man who has been ordained a priest, who has taken this vow and has the ability to judge me and what he thinks is a sin. Some of these men are men, who truly found inner peace as Gods messenger, but there are some who are hiding from their sexuality, there are pedophiles and men who do not abide by their celibacy vow and sleep with random women in their congregations. These men while may not be many have no business judging me and forgiving me in my opinion.

In Religulous I did notice that bill Maher seemed to stick to many overzealous religious people. Those that can’t be swayed, who won’t or don’t tolerate anything remotely questioning their god or bible. Why are we so intent on believing in this without research, without question? Why must we listen to the ramblings of others at face value but aren’t allowed to ask questions? My thought is that they really don’t know the answers. They can’t give us a firm answer on whether this was real.

Religion does have some good qualities. It gives people inner peace during tough times in life, in death and when they are sick. But in the same token it has created wars in the name of religion, violent murders and racism. I’m still trying to figure out how to balance all the bad with the good it can bring.

Having faith in God, Allah, Buddha, etc.is a wonderful thing. Everyone should have faith and how ever you find peace within yourself is your business. My problem with any religion is the pushing of your thoughts and beliefs on other people. What may work for you, may not work me or anyone else. For me having faith doesn’t mean that I can preach versus in the bible, go to church every Sunday or even know all the prayers. Faith for me comes from within me. I believe what I believe and I talk to god in my way and when I feel the need is there. Sometimes it’s because I’m praying for a friend, family member or even me and sometimes it’s just to say thank you for giving me the strength and faith to get through the tough times.

Heavy Heart

This morning I woke up with a heavy heart. I realized that as I got up that we were coming up on the month anniversary of my Avo's death. I held her cross necklace that now adorns my neck and wished for a good day. It was while I was searching through my purse that I found the card my mother had brought back to me from the wake and the poem on it brought tears to my eyes and reminded me yet again how much I missed her.

God saw you getting tired

and a cure was not to be

So he put his arms around you

and whispered "Come to me".

With tearful eyes we watched you,

and saw you pass away.

Although we loved you dearly,

we could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating

Hard working hands at rest

God broke our hearts

to prove to us

He only takes the best.

by Rogers Funeral Home

37 Days till my 40th Birthday!!!!

I swear it was only yesterday I was celebrating 30. Lol Wishful thinking!!!

So the countdown really begins.

Here's hoping to a great lead in to entering a new decade.

Thought of you today

I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have is memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake in which I'll never part. God has you in his keeping, I have you in my heart....

RIP Avo

Fat, Ugly and a Bitch

So recently I was called a Fat, Ugly, Bitch. Some may take that offensively and I, well here are my thoughts on that.

1. I never said I wasn’t fat. But I’m in the process of making that change.
2. Bitch? I never said I wasn’t and honestly will be the first one to tell you that I am.
3. Ugly? To be honest I don’t think I’m ugly at all.

Ugly is the attitude in which I was told these things. Ugly is the fact that the person who called me these names had to hide behind an anonymous screen name. Said person usually does this on a regular basis. Anyone that has to tear someone down so that they can feel empowered or strong is nothing but pathetic. It’s that kind of ugly attitude that makes people feel nothing for you.

So you may feel those things for me but heres the thing. I can change my weight, I can even be less bitchy if I so choose but you will always have the ugliest attitude and be surrounded by complete negativity. No one wants to be around that kind of ugly.

So hate me, dislike me or whatever. I rightly don’t care, what remorse, guilt I had has been diminished by the childishness that has gone on over the last few months. Enjoy your life and move on like the rest of us.

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE

• To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
• To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
• To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
• To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
• To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
• To let go is not to care for, but to care about.To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
• To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
• To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.
• To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
• To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
• To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
• To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
• To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
• To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
• To let go is to fear less and love more
• Remember: The time to love is short

My life is full of random moments that fit together perfectly. The truth is you DONT know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed. People will NEVER forget what you said, people will NEVER forget how you made them feel. Kiss your life. Accept it, just as it is. Today. Now. So that those moments of happiness you're waiting for dont pass you by. A FRIEND is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind. NEVER let go of the things that make you SMILE. Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same. Laugh your heart out and dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn. Forgive and forget, cuz remember that you only have one life to live!

87 days till my 40th bday

The weekend is here and I’m really looking forward to forgetting about business. I love what I do, and where I do it but the stress has been unbearable. I don’t know if I’m coming or going sometimes. Hopefully 2010 will get better; it’s started out pretty rough already, with earthquakes, tsunamis and more job losses. How we are going to survive all this is beyond me. I try to keep the faith and it’s extremely hard. For every step forward I take, it seems I take 3 back and feel like I’m drowning. Hopefully I can work through all this and things will get better.

I was driving around today doing some errands and as I stuffed McD’s french fries into my mouth I thought of how heavy I was and how disgusting I felt. Funny thing though I didn’t stop eating the french fries. I cannot for the life of me figure out why my brain acts so damn stupid!! I know I need to lose the weight, hell I even know how to lose the weight but something stops me. What can possibly stop someone from feeling good, looking good and just well being healthy? If I could afford counseling I would be all over it but sadly that is not in my budget. How do I get past this mental block? How in the world do people do it? And please don’t tell me, eat right and exercise. I KNOW THAT! How do people get through the reasons why they over eat? There are reasons for some of it. I know I’m an emotional eater, a bored eater and a stress eater. I actually get jealous when people say they are so stressed they have lost 10lbs in a week. I know it’s silly but I can’t lose 10lbs a year but I can sure as hell put on 5lbs just looking at a bag of chips. The insanity must stop!!! I can’t do this anymore. I have to find it in me to make the changes, stop the madness and get healthy. Heck I even looked into going on the biggest loser but I’m far too insecure to do anything remotely so out in the open. There is no way I could put myself out there like that.

WAIT! While this is not TV, I am putting my business out on the net. Interesting…See I’m all over the place. Anyways, this weekend should be interesting. My Vozinha is celebrating her 90^th bday and we are picking up my parents new puppy on Sunday. Should be exciting, I hope. I also have a midterm in Accounting which is so over my head it’s ridiculous. Add to that the stress of work and life in general and it’s just worse.

On top of that I spoke to my god mother and my Avo in Boston is not doing so well. I’m not sure why my mother isn’t telling us everything or maybe she doesn’t know everything either but from what I understand Avo is just very weak. I’m extremely sad that this vivacious woman is not 100% bed ridden and rarely talks to anyone anymore. I’m grateful for having seen her last January and I’m not sure I can bring myself to see her now while she is in this state. The day we get the call she is has become an angel, will be one of the saddest days of my life. She is the only grandmother I have ever been close to. Even though she is 3000 miles away. She is truly my hero. I love her to pieces and can’t imagine life without her and I’m afraid of what this loss will do to my mother.

My Avo and I, January 2009, her 86th Bday

On a good note, our family is expecting another little one. My little sister is pregnant again with their second child and due in Sept. I’m so very excited. My niece and nephews bring me the brightest of days and make me smile no matter how miserable I think the day has gone. They remind me to laugh when I want to cry, to smile when I frown and to remember that every day is blessing and should be cherished without hesitation.

So for my 40^th year on this earth, I’m going to do my best to live my life completely and happily even with the little mishaps along the way. I’m blessed..I have a family I love and adore, friends that make my world brighter and a little furbaby that loves me unconditionally.

<3 Till next time

2010

The year 2010 started off like any other year lately. A family party, filled with laughter and family love, a small get together with my immediate family and a weekend filled with nothing exciting. I had a lot of expectations for 2010, but almost 2 months in, I realized my expectations were far too high.

I started school in mid January. My heaviest course load so far and it’s been quite a challenge being in school in the mornings and in school with kids a minimum of 20 years younger than me. It’s a challenge yet it’s actually kind of nice looking at the world in the eyes of the kids that are just out of high school. Even though there are times where I want to throw my book at them and tell them to get out of their bubble and see the real world. But how do I know their world is just like mine? How do I know if this is their reality?

I do wish some of these kids would take school seriously. I can't believe how many of them pop into class anywhere from 10 minutes to 45 minutes late to a 2 hour class.. I mean seriously, why bother coming to class at all. As an adult I think god this is so disturbing to the rest of the class and then I remember what it was like to be that age and wonder if I was the same way or did I take my own advice and just cut..lol I probably just cut!

I have met some really good kids in classes and some pretty good teachers this semester. I think in the end it will be a good semester for me and a good dent into my finishing my course loud. Although my online course is a struggle. I hate it actually. As much as I love being on the computer, doing a course without a lecture or a teacher sitting in front of me..I’m completely at a loss.

Life in general is moving along. For every 2 steps forward I feel like I take 3 or 4 back. I feel like a complete failure sometimes and sometimes I just feel like giving up. It’s a struggle day to day to just maintain any kind of positive attitude in life and in myself in general. Don’t get me wrong I love my family and the friends that I have and I would never want to lose any of it. But there are some days I just want to crawl into a dark cave and hibernate. I’m sure many of us have those same days and well its natural right. While we should all be positive, it’s hard to be positive 100% of the time.

I’m about 3 months shy of turning 40 and I’m scared to death to look at that day and look back and wonder what I’ve done with my life. Right now it feels like I’ve done nothing. Everything I had worked so hard to achieve is gone and I’m flapping about with nothing to show for it. Hopefully 2010 is as prosperous as we wished it to be. Right now the silver lining is not showing and I worry not just about myself but my family.

Hopefully I can keep up with this blog…